A Part Of My Testimony

I am someone who grew up under circumstances and in an environment that the world will dub not conducive to growth, talk less of flourishing. Yet here I am. I am evidence of God’s goodness through the broken pieces because these pieces provide a greater surface area for His glory to diffuse out.

My Father triggered my trauma. It would be easy to say this was when he handed me the divorce letters he had processed behind my Mama’s back. He divorced her behind her back and gave the grenade to his 7 or 8-year-old daughter to deliver to her.

The trauma was actually triggered in the womb. Where he was physically, emotionally, and financially abusive to my Mama. And by proxy, he did so to me. I am a daddy’s girl with daddy issues. Rephrase: I am a daddy’s girl with daddy wounds that my Heavenly Father has lovingly tended to and has been lovingly tending to.

I came to Christ with the thought:” oh God can be my Father?”. Yes, the realisation that I was not automatically Christian because I was born in a Christian home. Yes, coming face to face with being a sinner that is saved by GRACE alone, through FAITH alone, in CHRIST JESUS alone.

All these realisations but a journey and a process through the hills and valleys. Through depressive and suicidal thoughts, heartbreaks, questions of faith, rebellious pushbacks, and so much more. Yet through it all my name, Tioluwani Oluwapelumi, has rung true: Belonging to God, God is with me.

I really don’t deserve it and this recovering people pleaser truly knows she could never earn it. I know I am perfectly in process and the imperfections make me beautiful because they testify of a perfect God. My testimony is in spite of BUT God.

I am on a lifelong learning adventure and God keeps revealing more of Himself daily, hourly, minutely.

In this current season, I am encountering and experiencing that thought I had at 10 years old: ” oh God can be my Father?”.

He is Fathering me and His timing is oh so perfect because I needed to go through some healing to get to this point of receiving this facet of His nature fully. He is oh so patient and kind. I continue to see beauty through the process of life because of Him.

I grow through and give the mess of life a poetic voice because of Him.

My Saviour. My Lover. My Friend.

And a recent bold declaration, minus the cringe cheese: My Abba Father.

4 responses to “A Part Of My Testimony”

  1. Amazing testimony!! Thanks for sharing and for being vulnerable, it’s encouraging! Not sure if you can relate to this but… One thing I’ve had to navigate, correct and process even when I came to the realisation of God being my Father was the lens in which I viewed and related with God, which was heavily influenced by how I viewed those who contributed to the truama I experienced. I had to learn Christ and trust God. I had to learn that God is not man and he is not limited in understanding. Even in my unfaithfulness, inconsistency, confusion and mess he will never leave me or forsake me, he upholds me and carries me through the storms of life. I’ve really found freedom in these truths. I’m still be processed but “I’m seeing beauty in the process” especially in the humbling/chastising moments LOL ahahha

    #WearehisWorkmanship💪🏿

    • Thank you for sharing Laadaay! I totally relate, often we can project the deficiencies of man unto God but God is incredibly gracious in the process of unravelling this to truly behold Him through the lens of Truth ✨

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